Ask the Astrologers: Long Distance Relationships

long distance relationship

This week’s question relates to a relationship which has been long distance for the past 18 months. Different parts of the respective charts will be looked at in order to ascertain if either or both are willing to move.

Who is the most flexible with this? And what the impending eclipse of November 25 may mean for their relationship.

Dear Chrisalis, I’m at a crossroads with my boyfriend of 4 yrs. We’ve been in a long distance relationship for the last year and a half. We do see each other several times a year and we speak every day.

But this is getting old and I want to figure out a way to be together (which means moving to the same place or one of us relocating to where the other one lives). Otherwise I think we need to just decide to go our separate ways. What do you see happening? ~ Katie

Dear Katie,

I looked at both your charts… took a deep breath and thought “where do I begin”?

There are such similarities with you both (with your Pisces sun and he with 4 planets in his twelfth house) and you with your plethora of planets in your 11th house and yet at the same time differences due to squares between these two signs and houses. I also felt that over the next few years you had plans you wished to put into action as Pluto transits all your Capricorn planets (at the same time squaring his Libran planets) and whilst for the last few years you may have felt frustrations in relation to your plans because of Saturn squaring these planets this is not to say it will last forever and I felt you would be looking at the long term as you made your decision on what you did next. With all your Capricorn influences I felt your decision would be influenced by plans you had for further down the road so keep that at the back of your mind… kind of like… you make your decision but it comes with a “gift” back to yourself further down the line.

Rather than break down the interplay between each of your planets I decided to look ahead at what was coming in terms of transits focusing especially on each of the houses that are going to be triggered in his chart, your chart and the composite chart for the relationship in the next few weeks.

Next week, late Thursday night (early hours Friday morning) there will be an eclipse at the midpoint of your Suns (at 3 degrees Sagittarius). This will happen in his second house which is where he will be aiming for security which means he needs to know exactly what is going on without any surprises thrown in so he can plan his next move. For you it will affect your ninth house which is related to travel, education and adventure… a word which I especially like here as it would be an adventure to move or change the relationship. It may also mean you need to give it further thought and this is what you may find coming from him at this time as it is not affecting him in the same way it is you. He will be more practical with what needs done whereas you will be optimistic and perhaps eager to see change happen. The eclipse also affects the composite chart (which is the midpoints of planets for each of you and this makes a separate chart where the dynamics of the relationship can be seen) and falls within the eleventh house of your composite chart. It is also conjunct (sitting on top of) your composite sun. You may both feel that things are not clear at this time or that you can’t find your way forward with everything that is going on. It may feel like there is a blind spot between you both and neither of you are seeing things clearly. As it is in your eleventh house it may also test the friendship part of your relationship although I feel this has always been strong between the two of you and it is an especially important quality for yourself within a relationship (ie to feel you and your partner are friends).

Two weeks later on December 10 there will be a further eclipse at 19 degrees Gemini affecting his eighth house, your fourth house and the composite fifth house of the relationship. Once again it is he who will be craving security and needing to have everything in place and stable. Whereas this time, you will be affected in the area of your home and family so you may be really putting pressure on yourself to decide what you want to do next in relation to where you live. In the composite chart it is the area of romance and creativity which is being affected so unlike two weeks earlier when the friendship was being highlighted you may both find that your thoughts have turned to romance. At this time you may both feel that a change in the relationship is imminent and as it is your fourth house being hit off by the eclipse I would say it is you who is thinking of moving home especially given the first eclipse is in your ninth house. However, on saying you may not feel that that is fair to you. He is coming from areas of his chart where he needs to feel secure and financially comfortable and with all your planets in Capricorn you also have these same needs within you even if they do “translate” in a different way to his.

I feel that you are going to be ready for a change before he is. I do not see the decisions being made on what you will both do happening quickly although I do believe the next few weeks will shake things up quite a lot. Because of the areas the eclipses affected him in I wanted to advise you to appeal to these aspects of him if you wanted to move (and this includes him moving also) highlight positives in practicalities, security and finances for both of you. I also wanted to urge you to pursue your own “adventure” and if there was something you wanted to do, learn, aspire to then to make sure you planned that within any moves you made.

Best of luck with everything and keep in mind the first step on a journey is often the hardest (for both of you).

~ Chrisalis


As always we’ll be offering astrological insights into questions submitted by our readers. Although names will be changed and birth data omitted (in order to preserve confidentiality), each column will feature actual questions submitted by readers. Click here for more information about us. 

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